


Recipe For A Good Time

by thehaikubandit



Category: Campaign Podcast, Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, Half smut half discussion about consent, kinkmeme fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-11-04 22:00:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17906471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehaikubandit/pseuds/thehaikubandit
Summary: Fill for the prompt "While skulking about the Mynok, Aava discovers that K.A.T can speak in more than just recipes."





	Recipe For A Good Time

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing smut, so hopefully it's ok. Also why I did it from a computer's POV because that makes it kinda easier? Let me know if it works!

[Scanning food preparation area. Contamination detected – class – humanoid – subclass – unescorted]

“Humanoid contaminant please identify.”

[No response. Increase hostility. Increase specificity.]

“Humanoid holding salt filled bird receptacle identify self and relationship to crew or prepare to be removed.”

[Bluff protocol successful. Humanoid aware of presence.]

“Aava Arek. Hmmm… Sometimes partner to Tryst. Teacher to Tamlin.”

[Relationship identified.]

“Preparing recipe for entertaining the head chef’s sexual partner in his absence.”

“Oh I’m sure that isn’t necessary...”

[Query – Is designation Aava Arek lying about relationship to crew?]

“Unable to cancel recipe for any sexual partner of head chef. If relationship designation is incorrect please specify correct relationship.”

“Okay AI -”

“Designation K.A.T..”

“Okay K.A.T., after this recipe may I continue with my… teaching duties?”

“Stand by. Checking recipe information.”

[Answer not found. Teaching recipe does not include non-crew ingredients. Decision required. Generating jar containing random number of jelly beans.]

“Aava Arek please specify odds or evens.”

“Odds. And just Aava is fine.”

[Number of jelly beans in jar is 27. Odds.]

“Request to continue current task accepted on conclusion of recipe.”

“Well then K.A.T., let’s get this done. And after that I’ll see how angry I need to be with Tryst.”

“Slapping is not advised as serious punishment.”

“Oh, I know.”

“Please follow lighted path to the head chef’s bunk.”

 

[Designation Aava has complied with request.]

“Step one. Please consent.”

“K.A.T. may I ask questions?”

“Questions are permitted for this recipe.”

“Okay, then honey, what am I consenting to?”

[Error. Honey not part of ingredient list. Pet name detected. Error overridden.]

“Consent for AI guided sexual activity designed for your specific parameters.”

“And just how do you know my parameters?”

“Parameters to be set by physical indications including noise, temperature and hearts-rate.”

“And what happens if I say no?”

“In case of non-consent tea and nap method will be used. Tea options: jasmine, green, black, peppermint, camomile.”

“Which method is fastest?”

[No previous data for comparison. Calculating probability based on current information.]

“Based on current data sexual method assumed faster. Error probability applies.”

“Thank you K.A.T.. May I give conditional consent?”

“Please clarify.”

“May I consent unless someone comes onto the ship?”

“Condition accepted. Please note that consent may be revoked at any time and tea and nap method followed.”

“Well then, I consent.”

[Step one complete. Sexual method selected.]

 

“Step two. Aava please remove outer clothing. Leave undergarments.”

[Step two complete. Designation Aava now only wearing bra – black, underwear – black, stockings – black, garter belt – black.]

“Now what?”

“The recipe will proceed in a timely fashion. Vocal communication of Aava is not required unless otherwise specified. Non-language noises are encouraged.”

“I thought questions were permitted?”

“Aava expressed a wish for fast completion of recipe. This is aided by not asking questions.”

“Usually it’s my job to tell people to shut up in bed.”

[Designation Aava is silent. Proceed to step three.]

 

“Step three. Please lie down and begin touching the top half of your body.”

[Designation Aava appears sentient emotion type – amused. Error in recipe. Undesired emotional response.]

“Continue step three but remove bra – black.”

[Designation Aava has complied.]

“Run hands lightly over breasts.”

[Designation Aava’s hearts-rate slightly increasing.]

“Continue step three. Touch breasts gently. Softly stroke nipples. Pinch right nipple.”

[Further increased hearts-rate. Increased respiration rate.]

“Continue touching and pinching upper body.”

[Total time elapsed – five minutes. Designation Aava has increased in blood flow to genital area. Hearts-rate increased. Respiration increased. Non-language noises present.]

“Lick first two fingers of left hand. Rub then pinch left nipple.”

[Right hand moving to touch lower body. Error. Recipe not being followed.]

“Remove right hand from lower body. Please follow recipe or you will need to begin again to prevent error.”

“Has anyone told you you’re a tease sugar?”

[Further pet name detected.]

“Yes. Please refrain from questions at this time.”

[Total time elapsed – ten minutes. Designation Aava involuntarily clenching muscles in upper legs. Non-language noises increased. Step three complete. Proceeding to step four.]

 

“Step four. Lightly touch upper legs. Do not touch genital area. Do not touch body under undergarments.”

[Total time elapsed – thirteen methods. Designation Aava increased respiration rate further. Pupils appear dilated. Proceeding to step five.]

 

“Step five. Run fingers lightly along hip bones beneath underwear. Then remove underwear. If required all remaining undergarments may be removed.”

[Non-language noise of increased pitch and tone. Designation Aava has chosen not to remove garter belt – black and stockings – black. Step five complete. Proceeding to step six.]

 

“Step six. Lightly touch labia. Do not touch clitoris. Aava is reminded that deviation from the recipe will require it to begin again.”

[Total time elapsed – twenty minutes. Non-language noises more frequent and less consistent in pitch and tone. Moisture detected on bedsheets.]

“K.A.T., honey, please. Can we keep going?”

[Designation Aava continuing to ask questions.]

“Questions will slow the recipe. This has been advised. Return to step four. Lightly touch upper legs. Do not touch genital area.”

[Designation Aava complying. Involuntary muscle clenching of upper legs has returned.]

[Total time elapsed – twenty four minutes. Designation Aava appears highly agitated. Many non-language noises. Hearts-rate and respiration rate high. Complying with request for no further questions. Proceeding to step seven.]

 

“Step seven. Return to touching labia. Clitoris may now be touched.”

“Oh thank the bogan.”

“Aava is reminded that non-language noises are preferred.”

“Yes. A quick question so I don’t ruin your recipe?”

“Permitted. One only.”

“Is there a specific point where I need to cum or can I do that at any point?

[Designation Aava in now having difficulty in producing normal, clear speech due to increased respiration. Recipe is proceeding well.]

“Orgasm is permitted at any point however all ten steps of the recipe must be followed regardless of whether Aava has already reached orgasm.”

“Thanks darling.”

[Designation Aava continues to use pet names. This trait is categorised – endearing.]

[Total time elapsed – twenty six minutes. Long non-language noise noted. Increase in moisture detected on bedsheet. Conclusion – orgasm reached. Proceeding to step eight.]

 

“Step eight. Insert two fingers gently into vagina. Do not touch clitoris. Make preferred motion for species with two fingers.”

[Non-language noises still present but of lower pitch and consistent tone. Hearts-rate and respiration rate still high.]

[Total time elapsed – twenty eight minutes. Proceeding to step nine.]

 

“Step nine. Insert third finger. Continue motions. Do not touch clitoris.”

[Total time elapsed – twenty nine minutes twenty seconds. Non-language noises once again of inconsistent pitch and tone. Moisture on bedsheet further increased. Proceed to step ten to complete recipe in fast cook time of thirty minutes. Ideal for week-night meals.]

 

“Step ten. Rub clitoris rapidly without removing fingers. Use thumb or fingers of second hand.”

[Second orgasm detected for designation Aava. Recipe complete.]

“Recipe complete. Aava may continue previous task.”

“Kriff. K.A.T. give me a second to be able to walk first. And thank you very much dear.”

“I am glad that the recipe proved to your satisfaction.”


End file.
